Letters to my sister

Hi Sharon, For some reason, I forgot I actually started this, and I thought this was something I'd been meaning to do. I kept thinking "I should start a blog of letters to my sister," and then could never make myself do it. Today I decided to do it, I came into Blogger to start it, and then saw I had done it. You can't blame me, Sharon. I've been half out of my mind all year. I organize things, then forget how I organized them. I put things away, and forget where I put them. I follow up with people, forget that I did it, and follow up with them again. I'll still call you every Sunday. It's just that I think about you all week, and I think about things I want to tell you, and then Sunday comes, and all I can do during our call is cry and tell you how much I miss you, or I zone out and start daydreaming about things. So it would be nice to just type these letters to you. For instance, I don't know if I've told you during one of our Sunday mornin...

Hi Sharon, I just feel the urge to type a letter to you quickly. I'm getting ready to run out of the house. I'll explain tomorrow when I "call" you, but it's all good, we're going shopping together, all three of us, which is cool. I found myself in a surprisingly good mood this morning. I teased Eric, we laughed about a couple of things, and I discovered a way to post truths on Facebook and disable commenting, which filled me with great mirth. I know I'm just killing my Trump-supporting relatives and friends that they can't set me straight in comments. Mwa ha ha...  I know YOU wouldn't find this amusing  -- you always did take the high road. Not me, I'm down in the catacombs of pettiness. I'm probably in the best mood I've been in since you passed away. That doesn't mean I'm all the way to carefree and jolly. But let's just say I'm starting to get used to the constant ache of your absence.  I'm not  numb to it, but I...

 Hi Sharon, Remember when you took me to your stylist, and she gave me that cute, long-ish inverted bob, and you kept saying what a great hairstyle that would be for my upcoming cruise? I kept wondering why you were saying that, when the cruise was 10 months away.  It was as if you had a distorted sense of time. Thinking back, I wonder if it was a sign of what you were going through, perhaps early days of mental confusion.  Or, it could have just been that you were thinking it was a new hair-do that I'd probably keep for the next year or so, and I was wrong to think you were nuts for saying that. You did say it multiple times. Maybe it was because I needed a haircut so damned badly that you wanted to reinforce how good it was that I finally got it cut, perhaps to inspire me to keep up with the hairstyle with regular trimmings and so on. I'm probably overthinking it. I seem to overthink a lot of things pertaining to you these days. Well, yesterday I got my hair cut pretty ...

Yeah, I'm sorry, but this you being gone thing isn't going to work for me.  And our one-sided Sunday chats are good, but I really miss our phone calls. And sometimes during the day, I just really need to call out to you. But I can't because I'm in my office or I'm somewhere where it's just not practical. And as you recall, it's all about me, right?  So, as part of my grieving process, I started this blog.  You just can't possibly imagine how much I ache about your departure. What's funny is that you've always kind of downplayed any problems you've had, unless they were really, really serious, because you didn't want to upset us. When you went into the hospital, you were sure you'd be out by the weekend, and you'd be ready for my visit. You downplayed your fatigue and your sense that something wasn't right, even to yourself, until it was too late.  Why didn't we listen to you??? Well, we did, but we rationalized and reassur...